Still Walking

Still Walking

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Monday, April 3, 2017

This isn't any April Fools gag.

My feet are ugly, more so than feet usually are. It is not the problem with looks, though. They just don't work properly as feet anymore. My toes no longer move on command; that is, I may think, "lift my toes", but they do not lift. They don't do anything except stick out there uselessly. When I try to have them act like toes should act nothing happened, I do feel a strange sensation back through my feet. I can't even describe it properly. I can feel the toe bones all the way back to my heels as if they are trying to obey, but it is just an annoying feeling like a tingling shock.

The rest of my feet feel strange as if I was wearing socks
when I am not. All this weirdness may explain some of my balance difficulty. Despite these disabilities, I can walk, no problem there as far as the feet are concerned. My walking  problems are in my legs where I first noticed something was going heywire with my body. If I am going to walk any kind of distance, I do have to use my walking stick now.

Perhaps the most bothersome thing involving my feet is I can't reach them with my hands. This makes pulling on socks and shoes problematic, especially socks. Even worse, it is nearly impossible for me to clip my toenails. Somehow with a great deal of effort, I have trimmed them after they grow too long. I do this after a good soak in a hot bath.

Hot baths present another adventure. I have little trouble getting down in a tub, granted I do it carefully so I don't go thud. Getting out is scary. I have to flip a leg over the side then push up with my arms and hope I can get the other leg over and my bottom up on the edge. My arms are growing weaker each month. We have no grab bars or anything helpful for extracting slippery old men out of soapy water.

One of the measures of my weakening arm strength is the bags of cat litter I must purchase and carry in from the car. A year ago I would purchase a month's worth, perhaps seven bags, each weighing 40 pounds. These I would haul in and put three in a chest we have upstairs for them and then tote the other four to the basement until needed. By the end of 2016 I couldn't lift 40 pound bundles anymore. I started buying 25 pound bags, only two or three at a time. I took none downstairs anymore. This was fine for much of this year, but now carrying the 25 pounds is becoming challenging; therefore, I am losing more arm strength. My biceps are shrinking.

Worse, I am getting fat. The doctors wanted me to gain
weight, well I have. I am back just over 180 pounds and I don't like it. I had worked hard in 2015 to reduce, firm up and lose my belly fat. I've gained over 15 pounds this year. Now I have a paunch and my chest has become flabby. And I can't do much about it. 

I can't get enough of the exercise that I was use to. Not only can't I walk five miles or more in the morning, when I do walk is at a much slower pace. I can't even get down on my rowing machine, let alone pull the oars back and forth. I don't like looking as if I'm pounding away the beers. I don't even like beer.

It isn't so much overeating either. I am losing my appetite
actually. Even looking at ads on TV for a lot of foods makes me half sick. When we eat out I only get through about half what's on my plate, and sometimes that is an effort. Add to this the fact that it is tiring to chew, I can't say I am pigging out at all. However, I am ingesting more sugar than before. In 2015-16 I had cut a lot of sugar from my diet. I didn't drink soda, I didn't spread sugar across my cereal or spoon it into my coffee. I avoided candy bars and cakes and pies. Now, unfortunately, these are what does appeal to me, especially Jumbo Jelly Beans, my new addiction.

As far as other progressions in my body, my hands are the
worse. The flesh has really shrunk around my finger bones and I have become even more clumsy, constantly dropping things. The latest concern is will my fingers become like my toes? What happens if my fingers don't work? (I also see a bit of hollowing in my arms.)

I get back aches easier and earlier when I do any work about the place and my neck is also hurting more and it's hard to hold my head upright. I am sometimes drooling at night in bed. The edges of my mouth are usually pretty moist. I believe swollowing is being affected. I am swollowing down the wrong pipe a lot causing coughing spells, usually at the worse times, such as when the Pastor is preaching.

On Friday, April 7, I have another clinic visit at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia. We'll see what they think about me. I do wonder what will become of me. I don't want to end up in a home nor on the street. Otherwise, I'm pretty positive despite it all.

1 comment:

  1. Can you swim and/or water walk?

    The extra support of the H2O might help you exercise a bit more vigorously.




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